in the world of drag racing
The latest update as of January 1, 1999
OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GAWD.......it's 1999 already (at least I hope it is - and not 2000). So, What's New, Bob? Well, let me tell you, for a guy who quit drinking nearly 25 years ago.... I'm feeling like I'm in the middle of a major timewarp. If you can focus your eyes on your monitor long enough to read this very short story, then welcome to the "party"......
Last night in a moment of weakness, a "friend" introduced me to some young women who expressed an interest in drag racing and websites. When told they were going to have the opportunity to meet some "famous" drag racer and help him update his website, they literally jumped at the chance. Only too late I learned that none of them knew how to spell, use a keyboard ("I could break a fingernail") or compose a sentence of more than four or five words. So (for the lack of a better excuse) the planned "Year in Review" just didn't get done. And at the rate I'm going, it might be halfway into 1999 before it's finished. Before I go, I'd better let you take a look at my "helpers".
For a closer look, you'll have to click on them
After their mothers (thankfully their fathers didn't show up) picked them up and took them safely home, there was a soft knock on the door. Oh, oh, probably the police. Quick, Bob, what do I tell them? "I thought they were all at least eighteen, officer" "They had permission from their parents" "I didn't even touch them" etc. etc.... Imagine my surprise when looking through the peephole revealed what appeared to be an almost full case of "Buds"
For a closer look, you'll have to click on them
Well, as you can see by the picture, the case is getting emptier all the time... and that's not the only thing getting drained in a hurry..... At this rate it will be the year 2000 before I get this damn website updated again. But, seriously folks, DO YOU THINK I CARE???
Don't worry, we'll be back to the regularly scheduled rumours, innudendoes, half-truths and outright lies soon enough. In the meantime, take a break and humour me by pretending that girls like these might actually be found within fifty yards of me. I'll close this "update" with an un-retouched photograph of myself taken just a few minutes ago. See you tomorrow....maybe.